Field Trip with the Killer Deer
by Vashess
Summary: Omi and Nagi have a field trip, so guess who has to chaperone? Yep, the rest of Weiss and Schwartz...Madness ensues as the class and teams go to Myajima (warning- evil deer!) Dedicated to my dear friend, Emily!
1. Default Chapter

Just a silly ficlet.I own nothing but my Easter candy! (Cadbury eggs rock!) I am reposting this because my sister, or yami no naka e, says that she helped write or edit it or something and I didn't give her credit. Now she is ignoring me and says I am a plagiarist. I am sorry, but I honestly don't recall you helping me write this at all Suz. Alas, if you say so I guess I shall dedicate it and claim it to you then.Thank you Suzy for.I don't know.something. Thanks for helping me write this love you lots and you know I would never rob you! "For our field trip this month we will be going to the island Myajima. There we will be visiting the Itsukushima Shrine and then take a cable car to the top of the mountain to see the monkeys that live atop it," Mr. Boredon droned on in his monotone voice.  
  
When would he just shut up Omi wondered. He had been spacing out for the last half an hour, and class would almost be over. He looked at his classroom. It was the same as always, the same boring blue wallpaper, the same boring teacher, and the same boring classmates. His eyes wandered around and stared upon Nagi. Something about him, Omi liked. He snapped out of it when his books fell off his desk. He decided to pay attention the rest of the period. Omi watched attentively as his teacher explained the rest of their little field trip. In the back of the advanced placement Japanese history class, Nagi stared blankly out the window.  
  
"So for the following Monday, everyone must have their permission slips in with a parents signature. Also, we need chaperones. Who would like to volunteer their parents?"  
  
Omi grinned wickedly, thinking that signing Aya, Yohji, and Ken up for chaperoning would definitely get them back for making him work Saturday mornings. He immediately rose his hand, volunteering.  
  
"Good," Mr. Boredon, their teacher, smiled. "How about you Nagi?"  
  
"What? Uhh...sure yes." Nagi said, jumping back to attention with no idea what was being asked of him.  
  
"Great, then we have our chaperones."  
  
"Err...chaperones? Sir?"  
  
"Yes you volunteered your guardians just now."  
  
"Oh." Nagi said simply. "So.when are we leaving?" ********  
  
Omi skipped into the flower shop and over to Yohji, holding out his permission slip. "Sign please."  
  
"Yeah sure, chibi." Yohji replied casually, and signed the paper.  
  
"Great."  
  
"What did you just sign?" Aya asked suspiciously from behind the register. "He just gave me permission to go to Myajima for our field trip. Oh, and volunteered Ken, himself, and you as chaperones. Monday morning." Omi beamed.  
  
"Yohji!" Aya growled.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't know the kid was so devious and malicious and-"  
  
"Well, I did." Ken pouted. "I don't want to go to Myajima, isn't that a place where deer run around amok and wild and hurt you?"  
  
"Don't be stupid Ken," Yohji laughed.  
  
"Actually, he's right. It's the site of the Itsukushima Shrine, and it has a park where monkeys walk around freely! And oh yeah a couple hundred deer."  
  
With that he skipped upstairs. Aya groaned as Ken hurled his watering can at Yohji.  
  
This was going to be one hell of a trip Omi thought happily. ***** Nagi slouched into his apartment and tried to slink past Brad and Schuldig in the living room.  
  
"What did you do?" Schuldig asked sweetly.  
  
"How do you know I did anything?"  
  
Schuldig looked up and grinned. "You reek of suspicion. Smelly smelly child."  
  
Nagi glared. "Out with it." Brad said simply.  
  
"Before you guys kill me, can you sign me permission slip?"  
  
"Yeah, whatever." Schuldig reached out and taking the paper, signed.  
  
"Well, I volunteered you as chaperones, the trips Monday, you just signed on it." Nagi smirked, and quickly went to his room.  
  
Schuldig stared opened mouthed, then rounded on Brad. "Why didn't you for see this?!?"  
  
Brad just glared. *****  
  
Monday morning was sunny and unbearably hot. By the time Weiss had finally come, everyone else was on the bus waiting for them. They were late because Yohji couldn't find his hairbrush...  
  
They raced onto the bus, Omi ready to kill all of his so-called "chaperones". Looking however, he found there were only four seats left, so he just sat in the first.  
  
And screamed.  
  
"Why, hello kitten." A single shining eye watched him malevolently, and he jumped up and grabbed the other seat.  
  
Looking over attentively, he sighed in relief. It was Nagi. He wasn't going to kill me to hurt god at least.  
  
Aya threw himself down next to Brad sullenly as Yohji looked disgustedly at Schu, and Ken sat in the aisle until he was told he must choose a seat.  
  
Schuldig grinned at Yohji. "Come to play?"  
  
"You wish," the blonde snorted, sitting down gracefully.  
  
"Aw, someone cranky?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm going to sleep." Yohji said decisively, and stretched out over both seats. Moving until comfortable, and thoroughly annoying Schu, he got comfortable lying on the redheads shoulder, legs over his own seat.  
  
Aya glared at the two.  
  
Over in Farfello and Ken's seat, Farfello smiled sweetly at the brunette. "Want to play tick tack toe?" he asked.  
  
"Umm...sure..." Ken said, a little nervously.  
  
"Give me your arm."  
  
Ken was about to, then stared and snatched it back. Farfello laughed derisively.  
  
"How about not?" he snapped, cradling his arm as if it had been burned as Farfello laughed his head off, a truly terrible sound.  
  
Up in the front aisle seats, two students in back of Schuldrich and Yohji were trying to steal Shu's sunglasses and bandana. Obviously they didn't know what they were getting themselves in to. The sleeping Schuldrich immediately woke up when his glasses were lifted from his face.  
  
"Huh?" He then realized what had happened. Schu grabbed the child and lifted him in the air.  
  
What are you doing with my glasses you little dumb ass?"  
  
He was not amused even though Yohji seemed to think it was funny. He began to throttle the child until he was distracted.  
  
"What are you laughing at Kuduo?"  
  
He said this while the scared child was still dangling in the air. He was obviously very mad.  
  
"You let a little kid steal your glasses. Hahahh."  
  
At that same moment the kid in back stole Yohji's glasses.  
  
He snapped.  
  
"Give me back MY glasses unless you want to ddddiiiiieeee!!!" Yohji shrieked while pummeling the student.  
  
Aya, who was across from them didn't even bother stopping his team member.  
  
Yohji screamed, "Shin-ne!"  
  
Aya looked up at that. Wow, Yohji was learning better vocabulary.  
  
"Stop, stop!" Mr. Boredon cried. "Chaperones please stop. Be at peace, peace god damnit!"  
  
Finally the students managed to chuck the glasses back to their owners and run to the back of the bus.  
  
"That'll teach 'em to take Kuduo Yohji's sunglasses!" Yohji declared victoriously.  
  
"Yea, right, whatever," Ken mumbled from diagonally. Yohji glared.  
  
Near the back of the bus Nagi and Omi were having a heated discussion on new computer software. Ken rolled his eyes. Omi could be such a geek! Well at least he had a geeky friend now. A geeky friend from Schwartz. Hmm... He would have to split them up. That guy Nagi was stealing his precious Omi from him! This meant war.....  
  
His train of thought was broken when Mr. Boredon finally announced, "Were here now! Everyone exit the bus in a calm and effec-" he was interrupted as all 17 occupants of the bus struggled to get out.  
  
Finally fresh air Brad thought, as he made sure he was first off the bus. He was beginning to think that this wouldn't be so bad when he stepped in a sticky substance of some form.  
  
"Brad, ewww, you have deer poop on your shoes," Aya told him.  
  
"What?!!!? But they are new!" Brad ran around, being very unBradlike, screaming, "Get it off me, get it off me!"  
  
A few students laughed. He had had enough. He would not be laughed at. He took the nearest laughing child by the cuff of his shirt and rubbed off the poop all over the kid's pants. The kid cried and ran away.  
  
"Hah!" Brad thought. That would teach that little brat to laugh at Brad Crawford.  
  
Nagi glared. So far his "chaperones" were ruining everything! At least he had Omi to talk to. Why was that guy Ken glaring at him in that somewhat evil way? Nagi wondered what he had done.  
  
Yohji was busy being surrounded by most of the girls who came on the trip. He was bragging loudly until-  
  
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"  
  
Yohji started ruining around, flailing madly.  
  
"It BIT ME! IT BIT ME! EVIL DEMONIC CREATURE BE GONE!"  
  
He turned to stare straight in to the eyes of a deer. The deer, obviously smelling food, bit in to Yohji, confusing him with an enlarged human biscuit.  
  
"Umm.. Mr. Aya sir?"  
  
A student tugged on Aya's orange sweater.  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Can you hold these deer biscuits while I tie my shoe?"  
  
"Umm. yea sure." Aya said monotonously.  
  
He took the biscuits from the small boy and waited for him to finish with his shoe. Something else tugged at him. He ignored the unknown source. It tugged again and this time it nipped. "Hey!"  
  
He was about to tell off whatever it was when he realized it was a horde of wild untamed deer intent on taking his biscuits.  
  
"Get away. I mean it," Aya gently hit one animal in the face to get it to leave him alone.  
  
It only got angrier. He began to walk quickly away from the group of creatures. He knew he was in trouble when the horde ran, as fast as they could, towards him.  
  
"AHHHHH!!!!" Aya screamed as he threw up the biscuits in freight.  
  
"You lost me my biscuits. You have to buy me new ones now!"  
  
The little boy had finished tying his shoe and wanted his biscuits back.  
  
"What? I nearly died holding your biscuits of death! Fine I will get them back."  
  
A very disgruntled Aya then headed to the horde of deer, intent on getting back his biscuits.  
  
Farfello was walking around, spray-painting large crucifixes on the deer. He then followed to glue biscuits on their back with chewing gum. Heheheheh. He would have the deer eating each other! Cannibalism! Yea, that soo hurts God!  
  
Ken was watching from the sidewalk, disgusted at Farfello's actions. But he quickly brushed it off. He had to sabotage Omi and Nagi's so called "relationship". Hmmm. I must make Nagi sad. Somehow. Ken thought to himself as Mr. Boredon panicked in to trying to get his chaperones to stop hurting everything.  
  
"Please stop! We have to go to the Shrine! Okay, chaperone Ken, Farfello, and Aya take these five students. (In this bunch there was Omi and Nagi.) Shuldig, Brad, and Yohji take these five. I will walk around alone. Meet me at the Shrine in an hour. You may walk around the town and shop till then. Agreed chaperones?" All six chaperones nodded.  
  
TBC, the start and possibly something more. 


	2. Farfie's expedition

Next Chapter: God Lover!  
  
"Okay my group we will go to that shop," Brad pointed to a Hello kitty store down the block.  
  
His group of five students and two chaperones trudged along to there. They all decided to listen to Brad. He looked mad. Maybe because of the deer that had bit and destroyed his new white jacket a few minutes ago. Hmm.... Maybe.  
  
Meanwhile Ken, Farfie, and Aya's group was led over to a tree.  
  
"Ken and I will take these three children around and Farfello, you take those two children. Ok?" Aya asked.  
  
Farfello and Ken nodded their heads in agreement. Aya had made sure Farfello was stuck with Omi and Nagi. He figured that if something happened to them with the psychopath he wouldn't feel that bad. I mean they were the ones who set them up for this stupid trip anyway.  
  
Brad's group stayed together.  
  
"You, Yohji, and you, Schuldrich, take the children somewhere and meet right here in forty-five minutes."  
  
"Why are we stuck with them?" Yohji asked, angry.  
  
"Because," Brad started evilly, "I need some alone time, and I am angry, and I will pummel you both if you do NOT!!!!!" Brad ended up very threateningly.  
  
"Right... That's reason enough for me!" Yohji was a little scared of the high-strung leader of Schwartz.  
  
Brad sauntered off to a coffee shop. That was very easy, getting rid of the children and the two idiot "chaperones". He sat down and ordered a very strong cup of caffinated coffee. As he fingered his tattered deer-bitten shirt he knew that for the rest of the day, he would need the caffeine.  
  
"Right, now that Brad is gone we will take you around shopping with us," Yohji said. Trying to be nice.  
  
Schuldrich added, "Meaning that if you do not follow us or if you by any chance get lost I will hunt after you and kill you all!!!! HAHAHHAAH!!"  
  
The children looked scared. Very scared. Good.  
  
"Yea, what he said."  
  
Ken and Aya had their three children and were currently in a cookie store.  
  
"Aya," whined the boy whose cookies Aya lost to the deer. "You have to buy me new deer cookies because you lost mine!!"  
  
"I do not!"  
  
"You do!"  
  
"Na-a! It was you and your stupid shoes fault."  
  
The boy continued to whine.  
  
"Fine! I will get your cookies back! And I know what deer it is because Farfello colored its back pink." Aya wondered when he would find the deer again and when he could get his revenge for the tick-infested vermin.  
  
Ken was busily trying to stop an angry shopkeeper from hitting one of his children with a broom.  
  
"Young man, this boy shoplifted eight bags of cookies! He needs to be punished!" The shopkeeper was trying to explain to Ken.  
  
"I am sure he didn't mean to. Did you?" Ken asked the young boy.  
  
Well I did, but I'm sorry!"  
  
"See? He is sorry."  
  
Ken then took the broom and snapped it in half. The shopkeeper glared.  
  
"Ugh, Aya I think we should leave this store. NOW!"  
  
Aya and Ken quickly got the children and evacuated the bakery.  
  
Meanwhile Farfello was teaching his children to go to all the stores and find any crosses in them. They were then to shoplift them and burn them! Nagi and Omi stared at each other and then at Farfello.  
  
"No, Farfie. I will not!" Nagi said.  
  
Omi nodded in agreement. Fine, Farfello thought. He was beginning to believe what that Ken guy had said before, that Nagi was a God worshiper. He had never thought it possible. But there he was, denying his plan! He thought of revenge against his so-called "teammate" or God lover and he now addressed him.  
  
Somewhere far away, in no specific time, Ken laughed to himself. Heheheheh. He would have Nagi away from his Omi in no time.  
  
Brad was waiting for his coffee patiently but he was getting annoyed. Good! Finally! The waitress was coming but ahhh!!!! She tripped and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! She spilled the steaming coffee all over Brad's lap.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
He screamed and ran out of the shop and jumped in to the stream right outside it. He just lay in it. Face first for a few minutes till a couple of deer had walked over and started sniffing where the coffee was spilt. Not in a good area.  
  
"Get away evil demon creatures of Satan!!!"  
  
Somewhere off in the distance Farfello screams, "Where?" Omi and Nagi look at him worriedly.  
  
Then, poor Brad, it really wasn't his day, a deer bit him where the coffee was spilt, right in the-  
  
"AHHHHHHHHOWOWOOWOWWOWOOWWWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT HURTS LIKE A MOTHERF*CKER!!!!!!!!!!" Very ooc indeed.  
  
Brad screamed and started beating the attacking deer. Then Brad had done something that he hadn't done for twenty years. He sat down and cried.  
  
Yohji and Schuldrich were just walking around. A girl in their group pulled on Schu's sleeve.  
  
"I have to go to the bathroom Mr. Schuldrich."  
  
"So, what do you want me to do?"  
  
"Nothing I guess. Except let me go to a toilet!"  
  
"No! We are not stopping!"  
  
The girl turned away and was quiet for a while. Then Schuldrich had an idea. He hadn't been mean for a while so...  
  
//So, you have to go to the bathroom huh? Running waters, shooting springs, waterfalls, WATERFALLS!//  
  
And Schuldrich continued to taunt the poor girl mentally till she cracked and ran away for the nearest toilet.  
  
"Heheheheh."  
  
"I forgot how sweet being mean was," Schu thought to himself. Its fun!!  
  
Aya, Ken, and the children were all walking nicely along, till Aya saw a deer with a pink back.  
  
"That's the deer! The deer who stole your cookies!"  
  
Aya ran over to the deer and attempted to take the cookies back. His attempt was denied.  
  
"Evil deer of the devil prepare to shin-ne!!!!"  
  
Then he proceeded to glare at the deer. The deer ran away. Aya followed.  
  
"Ken! Meet me there in fifteen minutes!" Aya ran, leaving a very confused and worried Ken.  
  
"Oh well. Let him have his fun," Ken thought. Now that he was alone he could plot Nagi's downfall! Yea! Omi would be all his. HehehehehheHAHAHAHHAH*COugh Cough*HackHack* Ken really needed to practice his evil laughs.  
  
Farfello was deeply thinking his plan to find out if Nagi really was a God lover. His train of thought was interrupted though.  
  
"Farfello? What are you doing?"  
  
"I am pondering God lov- I meant Nagi."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Then Farfello got an idea. It was a good one he thought. Very good.  
  
"AHHHh! Farfello what the hell?"  
  
Farfello had pushed Nagi in to the body of water near the Shrine.  
  
He watched the boy get out of the water and climb on to land.  
  
Farfello still seemed to be pondering while Nagi threw him against a strong looking deer.  
  
"Die! For God's sake die!!!"  
  
"I knew it! You are a God lover. You lived through my test!" Farfello said angry.  
  
"That's because the water was three feet deep," Omi said. Not wanting Nagi to get killed by Farfello.  
  
Omi decided to walk away as Farfello leapt at Nagi and Nagi flung him against a shop. TBC  
  
What will result from the fight? Hmm.Not even I know.Review! 


End file.
